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I’ve Achieved The Greatest Peace In The History Of Peace. Tremendous Peace. Unbelievable Peace!
In a world spiraling into chaos, Donald Trump stands at a golden podium—gleaming and gaudy, much like his promises. With his signature pout and the confidence of a man who thinks ketchup is a vegetable, he declares, “I’ve achieved the greatest peace in the history of peace. Tremendous peace. Unbelievable peace.” Behind him, the skies […]
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Mike Tyson: The Heavyweight King of Goofball Promotions
Mike Tyson might just be the smartest guy in the room—or at least the richest. He pocketed $20 million for a Netflix showdown with Jake Paul, proving that boxing these days isn’t about belts, it’s about bank accounts. Forget heavyweight titles (which, by the way, Tyson still has plenty of); Mike’s turned the sport into […]
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The Mike Tyson – Jake Paul Fight: The Real Loser
Mike Tyson was doomed from the start. Imagine the optics of a legendary Junior Olympian and world champion pummeling a YouTuber like Jake Paul—hard to come out of that looking good. People would be saying, “Congrats, Mike, you just knocked out a guy who unironically vlogs his breakfast.” Winning was a PR disaster waiting to […]
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US Vice President Kills US Secretary Of Treasury. US Military General On Trial For Spying AKA Treason AKA Sedition AKA Espionage
Ah yes, American politics—the original reality show. A U.S. Vice President kills a U.S. Secretary of the Treasury. Sounds like a far-fetched plot twist, right? But nope, that was Aaron Burr, the VP, putting a bullet in Alexander Hamilton, founding father and Treasury genius. They called it a “duel,” but it was basically the 1800s […]
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Never Worked Before. Won’t Work Now. The 1798 Sedition Act
Oh, a crackdown with the Alien Act of 1798? Sure, just like President John Adams did. And, you know, that turned out great for him. Nothing says “wise political strategy” like using a vaguely authoritarian law to target your own citizens. Adams aimed it at his political enemies, of course, thinking it’d be a foolproof […]
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It’s Coming. Don’t You Understand!
We have to get out of here. And soon. Because something is coming.
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Religion Banned
Religion is banned. Can you believe it? Probably not. But then again, neither could all those folks in China or Russia way back when. And now here we are—welcome to the club. Turns out, if history has a sense of humor, it’s definitely dark. Oh, but don’t look so surprised. The Bible said this was […]
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