Krissy Was Here

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On Saturday, October 15, 2016, at 11 p.m, I caught Twoblonds a.k.a Krissy’ show on VaughnLive, which was all about her latest comedy routine.

When everyone was ready, Krissy kicked off her comedy shtick–while sipping vodka–by talking about old people.

“You know, I do like old people. I’m going to be you, one time,” snickered Krissy, “when I get older, I’ll just say crazy shit. People will think, ‘She’s old. Don’t pay attention to her!'” Krissy smiled.

However, Krissy had to tell people to shut up and listen.

“Dieplayer would like to hear my jokes. If you could all shut the fuck up. I will do it just for him,” demanded Krissy. “We are ready to do jokes. Everybody get the lubricant!”

To begin with, Krissy joked about kissing and diseases.

“A drunk guy says, ‘Give me a kiss.’ I’ve never seen this guy before…,” continued Krissy. “You don’t know how much mouth deseases someone has has…He smacked me in the vagina…The coward, drunk, and loser left!”

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Next, she clowned the ’80s.

“Did you buy shoulder pads in the 80s? That go on shirts? I don’t know. My mom was very ’80s. God, do you have to spray that[hairspray] all over mom?” Krissy said. “Like my hairspray joke. That was even a planned joke.”

Furthermore, she had wart jokes as if hairspray wasn’t enough.

“You ever see people with warts on their fingers? I knew this girl in school. Her name was Danielle. She was like, ‘I have these warts!'” explained Krissy. “She was rich. She had a mansion…Maybe, it was from the horse. Maybe, she should clean her horse. The horse is a slut, I guess.”

Finally, Krissy greeted the “freaks” that came out at night.

“Mel![TheRealMelSpradlin] It’s after midnight! The freaks are out!” fiendishly jested Krissy.

However, nobody paid attention to her jokes because of Star Wars.

“Nobody is paying attention. You’re talking about Star Wars! You’re fucking banned!” screamed Krissy!

In the end, nobody cared about Krissy’ jokes–but I thought they were funny!

“No one gave a fuck about my jokes!” she fumed. “I told them and everyone was talking about Star Wars. Like? You were talking about fucking Star Wars when I was telling jokes!”

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