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Tremendous Peace. Unbelievable Peace!

In a world spiraling into chaos, Donald Trump stands at a golden podium—gleaming and gaudy, much like his promises. With his signature pout and the confidence of a man who thinks ketchup is a vegetable, he declares, “I’ve achieved the greatest peace in the history of peace. Tremendous peace. Unbelievable peace.” Behind him, the skies […]

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Law

No Unions Or Human Rights Allowed!

Here’s a quick illustration of Cedar Point Nursery v. Hassid. Imagine you’re a nursery owner, minding your own business, watering your prized saplings. Enter stage left: the government, clipboard in hand, announcing, “Congratulations! You’ve just been awarded the privilege of sharing your property with whoever we say, whenever we say. But don’t worry—it’s not all […]

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Law

Lochnerism

Lochnerism is basically when the Supreme Court decides to turn the Constitution into a choose-your-own-adventure book using the 14th Amendment’s liberty clause. They say, “We’re here to protect freedom!” But then the existential crisis kicks in: What even is freedom? The Constitution doesn’t spell it out, so the Court just kind of wings it.

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Apps
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Skynet Lite: DIY Revenge, Courtesy of ChatGPT

Need a quick-and-dirty Terminator to hunt down your nemesis? Forget complex AI labs or cyborg assassins from the future—all you need is a marker and a webcam. Just draw a grid on the floor, slap a target on your foe’s location, and aim your webcam at the setup. Take a picture, feed it into ChatGPT, […]

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Mike Tyson: The Heavyweight King of Goofball Promotions

Mike Tyson might just be the smartest guy in the room—or at least the richest. He pocketed $20 million for a Netflix showdown with Jake Paul, proving that boxing these days isn’t about belts, it’s about bank accounts. Forget heavyweight titles (which, by the way, Tyson still has plenty of); Mike’s turned the sport into […]

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The Mike Tyson – Jake Paul Fight: The Real Loser

Mike Tyson was doomed from the start. Imagine the optics of a legendary Junior Olympian and world champion pummeling a YouTuber like Jake Paul—hard to come out of that looking good. People would be saying, “Congrats, Mike, you just knocked out a guy who unironically vlogs his breakfast.” Winning was a PR disaster waiting to […]

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Exterminate!

Marxism? Dead end. Capitalism? Also a dead end. Really, take your pick—both roads lead straight off a cliff. Look at Russia: they tried the whole “workers’ paradise” thing, got a taste of it, and then went sprinting back to capitalism like someone who realized their “vacation” was actually a multi-level marketing scheme.

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Fsociety

You’re Elliot. And Ollie. And Tyrell. And Mr. Robot

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