Ah, the big capitalists—those benevolent overlords of our economy, sharpening their knives while insisting it’s all for our benefit. They’ve perfected the art of murder by proxy: skipping the messy work of directly killing the poor and instead outsourcing their demise to the H-1B visa program. Why hire hungry Americans when they can import cheaper, hungrier labor? Efficiency, darling. And to add insult to injury, they do it on the government’s dime, pocketing subsidies and paying taxes so low you’d need a microscope to find them.

Of course, Congress plays their loyal lapdog, wagging its tail as it rubber-stamps protectionist laws and deregulates like it’s a race to see how fast we can plunge into economic nihilism. The cherry on top? These bigwigs smugly proclaim they’re here to “fix the economy.” Right—like arsonists offering to extinguish the fire they just started.

A return to 19th century economic policies of a free ride. The rich pay little tax, regulate themselves, and pass protectonist laws.

Meanwhile, the middle class stays silent, clutching their dwindling crumbs and praying the wolves don’t notice them. But let’s not kid ourselves: expecting the capitalist class to self-regulate is like handing the fox the keys to the henhouse and asking him to guard it. Spoiler alert: the fox is full.

No, the problem isn’t “foreign labor” or “inefficiency.” The problem is the big capitalist, smiling through bloody teeth, asking us why we’re so upset.