Marxism? Dead end. Capitalism? Also a dead end. Really, take your pick—both roads lead straight off a cliff. Look at Russia: they tried the whole “workers’ paradise” thing, got a taste of it, and then went sprinting back to capitalism like someone who realized their “vacation” was actually a multi-level marketing scheme.

Then there’s capitalism, which has this charming habit of eating itself alive. Sure, it starts out all exciting—look at all this progress and innovation! Then it devolves into survival of the richest until the economy looks like a Monopoly board where one person owns all the hotels and everyone else is mortgaging their dignity.

Maybe the real joke is this supposed “evolution” of society: barbarism to feudalism to capitalism to socialism to communism to… paradise? Yeah, right. It’s less “evolution” and more “carousel of chaos.” Meanwhile, our evolutionists keep yelling “Progress!” like they’re trying to convince themselves. And the churches? Whether they’re Protestant or Catholic, they’ve been sideline hecklers for centuries, waving their holy books like instruction manuals nobody asked for. Hey Churches, here’s a tip: “Support Yourselves!” like they did when it all started.