This diary remains a work in progress. The rationale for this statement lies in the resurgence of memories.

Kayla, also known as Ellybish, hailed as the Queen of Battlecam, or simply Bish—she’s dearly missed. She occupied my thoughts today. I recollect spending countless days within her virtual domain: days filled with music resonating; days when Kayla strummed requested tunes on camera; days of sharing YouTube videos in the chat; days accompanied by libations; days characterized by online clashes in the chat box; days of standing by Kayla’s side as she engaged in battles with other broadcasters, my words emanating from that very box; days of simultaneous presence in both the main chat and her channel. Those were indeed wild times, marked by Bish’s presence on Battlecam.

Reflecting on it today, the situation was incredibly tumultuous. I had lost my parents, and the desire to join them had crossed my mind. Yet, surprisingly, the sole refuge I found was within Kayla’s realm. That’s where I sought solace. The irony of it all is truly striking.

I have a recollection of a particularly chaotic incident. There was a time when things took an intense turn. Kayla found herself in a legal predicament, and the Battlecam community was eager for details. Therefore, Kayla’s moderators and I resorted to various means, including hacking into state justice departments, to retrieve court documents and records. We shared these documents in the chat to provide real-time updates to the participants in the chat room. Looking back, I’m quite perplexed about how none of us were apprehended by the NSA, given that our hacking activities extended across state borders and even into foreign jurisdictions at times.

Arguably the most astonishing act by Kayla was the gun incident. She acquired a .45 Magnum and proceeded to press it against her temple, all the while issuing threats to pull the trigger. Despite the alarming scene, the chat remained silent, as everyone was averse to the idea of Kayla’s demise. This incredibly reckless episode involving the firearm catapulted Kayla into the spotlight of national news. And there I was, right in the midst of it all, witnessing the unfolding events as one of her live moderators.

Reflecting on the past, Kayla engaged in some genuinely eccentric behavior, yet it seemed commonplace at the time. I recall an instance when we were in her room, and she abruptly created a substantial hole in the wall, then sat within it. Another occasion comes to mind, when Kayla decided to tear up all the carpeting in her space. Despite the peculiarity of these actions, we, the chat participants, simply remained and kept her company, unfazed by the fact that most outsiders would consider us rather unconventional now. Personally, I wasn’t concerned about that perspective.

Let’s not forget the time when Kayla barged into a church service. It was an utterly wild scene as she strode onto the stage and disrupted the entire proceedings. She ended up getting arrested for that incident while the camera was rolling—such bizarre memories, truly off-the-wall.