“Episode 25” of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman is a funny one. We got divine punishment for killing nuns, depression for sleeping around, venereal disease, and suicidal thoughts for May. I am sure this one will entertain.
To begin, Mary and Tom have a fight in this episode. Mary, jumping erratically on a double bed, screams at Tom, yelling, “Oh, that’s it? Now, I’m a ‘that’? I don’t want to make love to ‘that’!” Tom screams back at Mary.
Nevertheless, Tom continues to insult Mary. “You’re acting like a ‘that’!” Tom repeats to Mary’s face.
However, all is good in the land of Mary Hartman and she makes up with Tom. Mary says, wondering, “Sorry, I just couldn’t get my mind off May… Does she have a better body than I do? Does she better than I do, Tom? Does she have softer skin, Tom. Is Mary is really as tall as she looks?” Nevertheless, during love making, Mary just can’t get May off her mind.
That being said, there are never coincidences. “Do you know what time it is?” Tom asks May when she calls in the middle of the night after Tom’s love making to Mary.
Anyways, Mary knows what’s up. Mary screams at Tom, asking, “May? Calling here? At this hour of the night?”
Also, in this broadcast, Charlie has crashed into a station wagon full of nuns. “Nuns? OMG, that’s awful. What were nuns doing driving around in the middle of the night? I didn’t even think nuns were allowed out at night,” Mary tells Tom, the doc, and Charlie.
It’s this airing, too, where Mary makes the local doctor talk. She tells the doctor, saying, “Malpractice and insurance suits.” The doctor gets the point and gives Mary answers.
On top of that, to make matters worse, Loretta is having a tumor as a baby. The doctor reveals to Charlies, saying, “Your wife just had a fibroid tumor.”
After the car crash, Loretta has an epiphany and wants to be a social advocate for pregnant unwed country singing teenage girls.
“I been doing a lot of thinking and stuff you know and with this brush with death… I been thinking when I become a superstar you know and the money all starts to roll in and everything that we shouldn’t spend it all on ourselves. You know, we should give it to other people and spend it on charity,” Loretta reveals to Charlie. “I got this real good idea that we should open a refuge for unwed pregnant country western singers. Oh I can just see that refuge now. I mean, I can see all these little teenage pregnant singers with their little stomachs pooching out singing four part harmony ‘I don’t know who your daddy is, but all the men I know are sweet.'”
Toward the end of this broadcast, we learn May gave Tom VD. In a confidenial talk at May’s home, she says, “I am sorry, Tom.” She gave Tom a sexually transmitted disease.
Apparently, too, we learn Mary doesn’t have venereal disease. “There is one good thing at least. Since you haven’t been having sex with your wife, she can’t get it.” May whispers to Tom.
However, May blames Tom for the venereal disease. “You’re the only guy I’ve been with since my divorce,” May confesses to an uninterested Tom
Dispite all these terrible things, May is depressed. “It is dreary coming home to this dump,” May sadly tells us.
May soon becomes suicidal. “So I kinda sat down here and looked at the four walls and thought about what’s it’s all about. And I thought maybe I should just go jump off a bridge,” May sobs.
To summarize, this segment was great. We learn there is punishment for hitting nuns even when the nuns are at fault. Also, May got VD for sleeping around, so it’s really hard to empathize with her when she becomes suicidal, but that is what the producers want, right? And the part about Loretta having an epiphany and becoming a social advocate for pregnant teenage country singers was too funny. I liked this episode.
