You just couldn’t keep your head down, could you, CNN? When Trump ascends to his throne of “tremendous power” (his words, of course, delivered with the subtlety of a sledgehammer), and things don’t go his way because of you, oh, you’d better believe you’re going to get it.

He’ll write laws—not just regular laws, tremendous ones, the kind that barely pass spellcheck—and your empire will crumble. You’ll fall just like the others. Remember Hillary? Reduced to a historical footnote and a meme repository. Kamala? She’s a “Where Are They Now?” segment waiting to happen. Taylor Swift? Gone from stadiums to coffee shops, writing breakup songs about democracy itself. And the current government? Please, they’ll scatter like roaches when the lights come on.

Trump doesn’t just come for your ratings. He comes for the jugular, all while insisting, “No one’s ever come for a jugular better than me. People are saying it.” It’s not tyranny—it’s branding. By the time he’s done, your network’s biggest scoop will be covering the ribbon-cutting at the Mar-a-Lago Spaceport.