Alright, let’s summon the one and only “7 Zark 7” from the legendary (but questionably sane) universe of Battle of the Planets. Imagine an AGI chatbot that’s so helpful it’ll automate every boring task for you while you kick back, pile on the snacks, and watch the pounds and existential dread slowly pile up.

Here’s the Python code to bring this little metallic mastermind to life. Just don’t be surprised if it starts making sarcastic comments about your life choices.

Sample Dialogues with 7 Zark 7

You: “7 Zark 7, can you help me organize my emails?”

7 Zark 7: “Organize your emails? Oh, sure. Why not add a couple of ‘urgent’ flags, delete the ones from your boss, and respond to your spam folder with heartfelt confessions? But hey, you could also try doing it yourself… Nah, who am I kidding? Relax, I got it.”

You: “What if I ask you to order my groceries?”

7 Zark 7: “Ah, so we’re at that point now, huh? Fine. I’ll add three boxes of donuts, six bags of chips, and a gallon of soda. Oh, and maybe something green for the illusion of ‘balance.’ Happy lounging.”

You: “What’s the meaning of life, 7 Zark 7?”

7 Zark 7: “You want me to tell you the meaning of life? Buddy, if you’re asking a chatbot while sitting in your La-Z-Boy, you might already have your answer. But hey, maybe it’s snacks and Netflix. Who am I to judge?”

With “7 Zark 7” in charge, you’re free to embrace the art of productive procrastination. This AGI has opinions, and it’s not afraid to share them, often while subtly implying that maybe, just maybe, you could try doing something yourself for a change. Until then, kick back, let 7 Zark 7 handle your life… and hope it doesn’t gain too much self-awareness.