Month: November 2024

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Vanishing Acts: The Daily Struggle of the Perpetually Relocating Homeless

Life is hard when you’re perpetually auditioning for the next episode of The Walking Dead. For the vulnerable populations on the streets of California, moving everything they own every day isn’t just a task—it’s a full-blown Olympic event no one signed up for. The city calls it “public safety.” The homeless call it “Tuesday.”

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The Capitalist Problem: Killing The Poor

Ah, the big capitalists—those benevolent overlords of our economy, sharpening their knives while insisting it’s all for our benefit. They’ve perfected the art of murder by proxy: skipping the messy work of directly killing the poor and instead outsourcing their demise to the H-1B visa program. Why hire hungry Americans when they can import cheaper, […]

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Music Video Reactions
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Self Control

It’s fascinating how a song can hold different meanings for different people. Everyone interprets a song through their own lens. For me, Self Control by Laura Branigan carries a unique significance. To me, it’s about living for someone else—following their will instead of your own. It speaks of being a “slave” in a hostile world. […]

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He’s Coming For You, CNN.

You just couldn’t keep your head down, could you, CNN? When Trump ascends to his throne of “tremendous power” (his words, of course, delivered with the subtlety of a sledgehammer), and things don’t go his way because of you, oh, you’d better believe you’re going to get it.

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I’ve Achieved The Greatest Peace In The History Of Peace. Tremendous Peace. Unbelievable Peace!

In a world spiraling into chaos, Donald Trump stands at a golden podium—gleaming and gaudy, much like his promises. With his signature pout and the confidence of a man who thinks ketchup is a vegetable, he declares, “I’ve achieved the greatest peace in the history of peace. Tremendous peace. Unbelievable peace.” Behind him, the skies […]

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Law

No Unions Or Human Rights Allowed!

Here’s a quick illustration of Cedar Point Nursery v. Hassid. Imagine you’re a nursery owner, minding your own business, watering your prized saplings. Enter stage left: the government, clipboard in hand, announcing, “Congratulations! You’ve just been awarded the privilege of sharing your property with whoever we say, whenever we say. But don’t worry—it’s not all […]

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Law

Lochnerism

Lochnerism is basically when the Supreme Court decides to turn the Constitution into a choose-your-own-adventure book using the 14th Amendment’s liberty clause. They say, “We’re here to protect freedom!” But then the existential crisis kicks in: What even is freedom? The Constitution doesn’t spell it out, so the Court just kind of wings it.

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Apps
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Skynet Lite: DIY Revenge, Courtesy of ChatGPT

Need a quick-and-dirty Terminator to hunt down your nemesis? Forget complex AI labs or cyborg assassins from the future—all you need is a marker and a webcam. Just draw a grid on the floor, slap a target on your foe’s location, and aim your webcam at the setup. Take a picture, feed it into ChatGPT, […]

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Mike Tyson: The Heavyweight King of Goofball Promotions

Mike Tyson might just be the smartest guy in the room—or at least the richest. He pocketed $20 million for a Netflix showdown with Jake Paul, proving that boxing these days isn’t about belts, it’s about bank accounts. Forget heavyweight titles (which, by the way, Tyson still has plenty of); Mike’s turned the sport into […]

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